As I sit on the plane headed for Buenos Aires, I try to remain calm and composed like a well travelled cosmopolitan (especially since I’m a blonde American) but the truth is that inside I’m a little kid on Christmas morning screaming like I just found out my parents are taking me to Disneyworld. Having never been out of the country, I am truly blessed and grateful to have been given this incredible opportunity. Even being on an airplane, something common to many college students, is a rare luxury for me! I become giddy seeing clouds. I feel like an astronaut looking at the Earth from far away, you know the picture we’re always shown of the Earth from far away, with a thin layer of clouds hiding parts of the blue and green mass. Heck, even the mere fact that I’m flying amazes me. I know you’re probably thinking I’m childish or sheltered or whatever, but I’d like to think that it’s a wonderful thing to still be so grateful and childlike in my curiosity of the world. It kills me when people get mad at technology, when really we should step back and think, “Holy crap! My grandparents didn’t even have color tv and I’m typing on my laptop, listening to my “phone” that also does everything else you could think of, all while flying thousands of feet above land in an aircraft that weighs a ton. And I can cross the world less than a day!” That’s not sheltered; that’s knowing your infinitely small presence in the scope of the universe. I am humbled experiencing God’s gifts first hand. All day, I have been relatively calm, but now, actually being on the plane to Buenos Aires and not another airport, it’s really starting to hit me. I am breathless (but apparently not speechless) thinking that my lifelong dream is becoming a reality. When I get off the plane, it’s going to be 80 degrees and I’m not coming home for 4 months. It still sort of feels like a week-long vacation. As much as I know I need to sleep to be well-rested for tomorrow’s arrival, I want to stay up to feel this tidal wave of emotions. My head is spinning, vertigo sinks in, and my stomach has relocated to my throat. What I foresee as my biggest challenge is not having a cell phone. Already, I’m feeling as though my excitement is more enjoyable when shared. I want to spread my happiness to my friends and family who have been so supportive and delight in my successes just as much as I do. On the other hand, I’m liberated, broken free from the responsibility of returning phone calls, checking in, and having my face permanently buried in my phone. Even in the States I take random hiatuses where I go days without replying anyone. It drives my family nuts. “We wouldn’t even know if something happened to you because you never answer your phone,” my mother explains in her frustration. “What’s the point in even having voicemail?” wonders my dad. Speaking of family, that’s another big concern. I already feel so out of touch with my family when I don’t see or hear from them for a week. Unlike most of my friends who have to fly home, I’m a mere 30 minutes away, free to see my family whenever I please. I know everyone has a dysfunctional family, but I think mine might be a top contender for one of the craziest. All I can do is give my fear to God and trust that He will take care of the rest, because my shoulders aren’t big enough and this trip is to soak up Argentina, not have my head and heart still back home. This entry is sounding pretty negative so far, but believe me, I’m stoked. I just want to address my concerns, get them all out on paper so my thoughts no longer dwell on them. That said, my last major concern is finding an internship for fall. I have just assumed for the last few months that I didn’t need to worry about anything while I was in Bunoes Aires except for Buenos Aires. After more careful thinking, I realized I will need an internship in the fall and that means applying this semester, as in more applications, more essays, and more interviews, all while being halfway across the world. When am I going to find time to research jobs I want?! Plus homework, plus Gilman follow-up project. Oh yeah, and taxes. Who’s gonna do those? Ugh. Well, now my brain is full of negative energy and that’s no way to end the night. So once again, I give my worries to God because my shoulders aren’t big enough. Think. Feel. Receive. Back to focusing on all the amazing times I’m going to have, the friends I will meet, and the stories I will have to tell to my children.
Hasta Luego, Amelia.
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